Poetry By Judith Pullins-Ruiz from Phoenix, Arizona e-mail: judynmike@pop.phnx.uswest.net     I SIT ALONE BY CHOICE I sit alone by choice, It's not for very long. It's just some time to be away From all that's going on. I sit alone by choice, It seems to drive you mad. But I enjoy my company, Is that so wrong or bad? I sit alone by choice, I'm not ignoring you. It's only for a while, Maybe hours...just a few. I sit alone by choice, It's my time alone well earned To contemplate you, we and us. Why be so concerned? I sit alone by choice, I don't want company. I take this time to think things through, But still, you fail to see. I sit alone by choice, Where no one calls my name. I do enjoy OUR time, But this is my time, just the same. I sit alone by choice, Void of fear or pain, Gathering perspective If I don't, I'll go insane. I sit alone by choice, "To thine own self be true" To contemplate and reason Why I'm still in love with you.     JOLLY RANCHER LAND I wish sometimes I could go mad and live in "Jolly Rancher Land" Where no emotions fill my space. Just lost in no-where's hiding place. A place to run away to cry. To forget about the reasons why. Content in no-where's heartless space with no emotions there to face. No pain to feel. No tears to do. Misplaced in time away from you. In blank contentment of my mind. Off no-where's easy borderline. Just run away and find the sand that leads to Jolly Rancher Land.     FLIGHT OF THE GYPSY Leaving only memories, the gypsy's wings unfold. Possessiveness set her to flight, her story left untold. His selfishness drove her away. His greed she could not bear. Afraid of what would come to pass, her wings took to the air. Forever bound to none, except imagination's door, Wings spread free across the sky. A bird, born to explore. Fly ye free young gypsy. To chains, do not be bound! Among the heavens lies your home. A stranger to the ground.     THE BEAST A master at the game of life, enchanting, selfish fool. Using, just to get her way. Her love's a deadly tool. So vicious is this wild beast. So willing is her prey. She feeds upon their fantasies. Their heart's the price they'll pay. Their love for her she'll swallow. Her wish they can't deny. So blind in trust they follow, believing in her lie. Poor fools in her illusion. Unknowingly her feast. So cunningly enchanted by the beauty of the beast.     FOR A MOMENT A glance. Only to be just a moment in your eyes. A wish to be a taste upon your lips and a fever in your veins. To be more than just a kiss in passing. More than just a brief moment in your morning And a smile in your night. Just to be a part of your life. For only a moment in time. Leaving my love to die with no remorse.     INSANITY'S PRAYER Now I lay me down to sleep, to find a place away to creep. Into caves or under coves. A place where I can be alone. Let me lay myself to pray, may tomorrow be a better day, With no more tempers, no more pain. Please let this be, Dear Lord, I pray. Now I lay me down to rest. At least I know I've tried my best. There's no more now that I can do. My mind is straying far from you. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray Dear Lord, restore my peace. Don't let me wake to see the sky, just let me wander in my mind. I long to fall into my dreams, away from my uncertainties. In sleep there's peace, some time away. Inside my mind I'll feel no pain. My own escape to help me through and find some time away from you.     A MOTHER'S LOVE I needed you. I wanted love. A warm and gentle hug. The bonding of a family Stems from a mother's love. I've tried to make you proud. I strive to be my best. But all you do is criticize And put me to your test. You've never really loved me, The way a mother should. You never did support me, Like any mother would. You're dominant and critical. Vindictive and resistant. I only needed love from you, But you were far too distant. I'm sorry that you've missed so much Of the love I have to give. A daughter's love is special, But you refuse to need it. So, place yourself on high O mighty Judge upon your throne. If love is what you give to me, I'd rather be alone!     FOLDED DREAMS Behind your fears you hide your dreams, Away from cruel reality. Inside your thoughts your dreams feel safe. Kept far from life's corrupted race. In silence, broken rebel's cry. Defeated wings kept bound from flight. Ruled by your fears you folded dreams, Surrendered to uncertainties. Your coward wings refused to soar, Beyond imagination's door.     DEATH From the very moment one is born, it starts from the first breath. There's no way to escape it. We're born to meet our death. If time permits we may live long and see life's precious gift. Or die before our life's first breath and not know what life is. Prolong it? Yes, one can prolong but death will surely find you. When it's your time to rest in peace you'll leave this world behind you. You cannot run. You cannot hide. There's no way to escape. Death is what we're born to from the first breath that we take.     GOOD BYE Gave you all I could, I Only wanted love from you. Only tried to make you happy, Did the best that I could do. But my needs were left unnoticed, You were only using me. Enough is what I've had of you...Good Bye is all I leave.     NEVER FALL IN LOVE Never fall in love my friend, it only brings you pain. First they'll say they love you, but then they're gone again. At first it's only heartache, but it's followed by the pain. The courage left to start again just isn't worth the strain. You see my friend I know these things, I've found them To be true. I've lived and learned and I should know, I fell in love with you.     DESIDERARE (LATIN MEANING DESPERATE) I hear your cry young gypsy. Your echoes fill my mind. Your tales of olde, some yet untold, of lands you wish to find. The open wings of peaceful dreams, they seem so far away. Still bound from flight you curse the night and mourn the break of day. Chained behind an open door as tears caress your face, Longing just to spread your wings, to fly in open space. Above the trees, into the night, upon the winds you'd soar. Your wings spread freely. Gracefully. And bound from flight no more.     THE GOLDEN RULE Here's my heart for you to tend So hold it close and be it's friend. The Golden Rule across the top Is labeled, "Do Not Break or Drop" Or lose or simply toss away. My heart's not given every day.     LOVE ME Love me not for loving you. Love me not for what I do. Love me not for what I'll be. Love me just for being me.     NEED YOU I need to feel you close to me, Your body next to mine. To feel your arms embrace me As I hold you through the night. I long to touch you softly, Place my head upon your chest. Just close my eyes and climb Into the arms that I love best!     TIME Time exceeds all things. There is no way to go around it. No way to stop it. No way to get back to it. One can indeed wait for it. Or compete with it. Or consume what little time there is for us. When we need it there is never enough of it. When we're lonely or bored, there is always too much of it. We can live in and with it but we cannot hold it. It will pass us in the blinking of an eye. Going on with or without us. Time exceeds everything.     THE HARD ROAD Welcome to the real world, where grown-ups often live. Right or wrong, we're stuck here. It's a hard road, not a gift! It's often paved with lessons learned and choices that we make. But you could take the short-cuts if you'd learn from our mistakes. Grown-ups build the highways. Our construction's never done. There's a few who take the side streets, but those detours aren't much fun. Sometimes we find a cul-de-sac, but at least there's a way out. If we find we've made a wrong turn, there's still room to turn around. There are those who like to 4x4, but know the time and place, For those little off-road ventures, without losing time or pace. No matter which direction, there are always roads to take. Where choice defines your out-come, so beware the map you make.     WISDOM Wisdom is a blessing, an endearing gift from God. It takes many years to learn it. Every day a lesson's taught. Only many years of learning how to recognize what's best, Bestows this gift upon you as life puts you to it's test. And when you reach those golden years, you've learned so very much. Recognizing simple virtues like another's trusting touch. The only way to gain it is to live life full and fun, Counting every blessing until your days are done. Knowledge is an heirloom. Things you've learned and things you've done, Will reward your every effort when it's passed on to your son. Age becomes the best reward, the time spent growing wise. True value in your lessons flowing down through family ties. Look forward to your golden years, the blessing's in disguise. Your wonderful fulfillment, the reward of being wise.     Top | Back to Collected Poems | Back to Main Page